A Safe Person In Relationships
Someone who you feel comfortable around
A safe person, both physically and emotionally, is someone who makes you feel comfortable to be your real self with.
They are open and naturally have space in their heart and mind that you can be fully yourself around them. They don’t judge you for how quirky you are, or when you simply want space and be alone; and they don’t criticize you when they see that you are different than most people, such as too loud/quiet, very interested in a lot of topics, or that you have a different type of humor.
(By relationships, I also include friendships and family, not only romantic relationships.)
A safe person doesn’t feel upset or offended by their partner’s boundaries
On the contrary, they can respect their partner’s boundaries and understand the reason behind why they’re so essential.
They want to understand you better, so they can love you even better than before, as simple as that. That’s why they like to listen to you so much: it’s because it gives them the chance to explore where you have been, and what made you essentially who you are now.
Consequently, a safe person takes time to learn their own limits — be it physical, mental, or spiritual.
A safe person is willing to learn their partner’s Love Languages and Attachment Style
They want to invest their time and energy in understanding you better, because what’s a healthy relationship without both partners knowing each other well?
Hence, someone like that wants to get to know if their love languages match, or why they are avoidantly attached.
For instance, if their partner’s top love language is Words of Affirmation, they may write a romantic letter to you to show how much they appreciate and know you. Or they will research something you’ve been very interested in recently and later talk about it with you to be able to better know what you’re talking about and actually throw some pieces into the conversation that show they’re interested.
If their top love language is Quality time, they may plan a lovely getaway or picnic with candles, some foods you really like and have either been mentioning to them or they’ve paid close attention that you like them. Or more spontaneously, they will ask you to come with them and surprise you to where you’re headed; it could be a new small but lovely place to eat something, or even a walk to simply talk about anything and everything that’s on your mind.
A safe person feels confident to be quiet
They don’t talk all the time. It’s not a sign of insecurity, but a sign of confidence that he is aware of what benefits there are in solitude.
It tells you he is mindful, prefers to listen, and is an introspective person.
They value a stress-free life, and don’t squander that by talking for unnecessary reasons, such as talking to talk. Instead, they rest and relish in quietude and thus relinquish the stress of daily life.
A safe person knows themself well and works to improve who they are, but they’ve also come to accept who they are
A safe person is someone who’s incredibly imperfect. They embrace their quirks, idiosyncracies and believe that working towards a way to more fully embrace & show up for themself is an essential bridge to self and the best thing they can do to connect with who they are.
Therefore, it makes it easier for them to accept people and not judge or criticize them for their imperfections or shortcomings. They also understand people better because of this, since they have invested much of their time getting to know who they are and why they are who they are. And this makes them safe to be around, because they aren’t annoyed or upset but instead humble and more understanding of people.
Most importantly, a safe person is patient.
They are patient because they know things in life take time, and with patience almost anything can be achieved. Patience, to them, means trust: it’s believing that if something happens, it will happen, and if not, it won’t — and that makes for a peaceful mind.
Additionally, here is a list I compiled of a couple signs that indicate someone is safe:
- A safe person is willing to talk things through with you, and give you a pause to breathe and look at the things said at a different perspective than before.
- A safe person makes effort to discover the patterns that they have observed over time that push peple away.
- A safe person is equipped with self-compassion.
- A safe person is also willing to be vulnerable, and deeply honest with their partner. A safe person is humble, because there’s so much we don’t know about someone and they know that.
- A safe person is willing to hear their partner’s side of the story, even if it feels uncomfortable.
- A safe person is willing to be wrong about their own point of view.
- A safe person isn’t obsessed to know everything about you, because they are calm and know everything will come together at some point.
- A safe person cherishes who they have become and consequently give value and appreciation freely to anyone who needs it.
Essentially, a safe person is whole-heartedly devoted to be interested in you to better understand and love you, and also to foster a closer connection for intimacy to flourish.
References:
https://5lovelanguages.com/learn
