Human Beings Recover In The Context Of Relationships
Why we need relationships to heal us
Relationships give us what we most need: the freedom to be our self. They let us be our wild, quirky, idiosyncratic and silly selves, assuming they’re healthy.
In the context of relationships, we can heal our wounds from past traumas. We kiss each other’s wounds with tender compassion, so we feel assured we’re not lonely or alone with our pain and sense of hurt we have experienced.
If we allow it, relationships and our partner can be a safe & sensitive container to express, heal, and soften ourselves. Soft is true strength, because it means flexibility, and a wave is surely the softest and most flexible, yet the most powerful.
Just like Alan Watts puts it love is a total abandonment. It’s surrendering and letting go, be vulnerable and let love encompass our hearts.
We all need someone to help us with our burdens and sadness. This can take the form of a helping hand, someone who we feel safe enough to lean on. Someone who attentively listens, who is patient and wants to genuinely get to know us. Someone that cares and gives freely from the heart.
Love says, I’m with you — I want to see all of you, I want to stay even through the darkest of times, when you’re a mess and don’t want to see anyone. Love can take care of us in this way, if we allow it.
If relationships nurture us in these ways, I not only strongly believe but know, that they are able to offer us this gift of compassion in the presence of love. It is there, we just have to be patient with ourselves first, and find a partner who is sensitive to both our needs but also their own.
But of course, effort is a two-way street. It has to be reciprocal, otherwise, we feel left out, lonely, rejected, and sad.
